Literary Grace

I was inspired to write this post after reading the March Issue of Vanity Fair that profiled writer Grace Metalious and the 50th anniversary of her novel Peyton Place. Several years ago when I was touring New England, I read Peyton Place (about the underbelly of a New England town) on the train. Oh, what a wonderful time in my life that was: I was performing my second solo show "Master of the (miss) Universe," doing reading/signings of "Letters to Montgomery Clift," and my father was still alive.

I became curious about Ms. Metalious and googled her. What a tragic life she'd led--dirt poor, instant fame, then dead of alcoholism at 39. It's the stuff made for a Hollywood movie.

Maybe that's why Sandra Bullock will soon star as the tragic author in an upcoming biopic.

Literary Cold

Achoo! By Dose is stuffy, by head hurts. But thoughts keep swirling about on plot points for my next novel. No rest for a writer.

Literary Avalanche

There I was minding my own bizness, just sitting, listening to some strangers talk. Then out of nowhere... an idea for a story popped into my head. Just like that. The story wasn't sparked by anything as far as I can tell. It just appeared. At first, I dimissed it, thinking: I have waaaaay too many unfinished stories in my computer already. I didn't need another one. But the story wouldn't go away. It kept coming and coming. The less I tried to think about it, the more it persisited. It was followed by voices ("Did you see the news?" "Yes, I'm on it."), then images popped into my head (a crowd of people, a sniper), then names floated by (Blake, Gloria), themes inundated me (it's about sacrifice, no, it's about greed). I was overwhelmed, inundated. Finally, I caved in and started outlining the story, hoping to satisfy the rush of demons in my head. At this time, the story is called "Martyrs, Inc."

Literary Correction: Not Quite "There"

What I love most about my literary life is knowing people who will correct me. Writer Mark Haile read through my blog and saw my post on "Literary Oakland" (11/13/05). I wrote that Gertrude Stein (left) insulted Oakland, stating, "There's no there there."

Mark e-mailed me this...

"About that Gertrude Stein quote: it's famously out of context, (although San Franciscans take great delight in repeating it) as it was actually from a visit she made to her childhood home, where she was dismayed to see that it had been torn down (it's now in downtown Oakland). She had written much from memory about her happy childhood spent there, and was shocked to discover there was not a physical trace of her childhood left."

Literary Words To Live By

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."

Henry David Thoreau

Literary Bookstore: Vromans

Vromans is one of those bookstores you've GOT to visit. I'll be on a panel with MONA GABLE and CHRISTOPHER MEEKS offering insights and tips on the writing life (like buy a pen). And it's free. C'mon down if you got the time.

Vroman’s Bookstore
695 E. Colorado Blvd, Pasadena, CA 91101
Friday, March 17, 2006 ~ 7:00pm – 8:00pm

Literary Clothes

I feel like I've been writing intense things lately. What with all the talk of death and lunar cycles and name calling and such. So, this post is pure fluff.

I've been preoccupied with clothes. More importantly, literary clothes. Maybe this has something to do with the fact I watch Project Runway when I can't write anything worth mentioning. Now, having hosted litarary events at Skylight for five years, I've seen writers wear all sorts of things (biker jacket, Rick Moody; tuxedo shirt over jeans, Dave Kipen; black turtle neck, Bernard Cooper; Polo button down and kacki's, James Ellroy).

Two items that I'm saving up for: a tweed coat and black leather blazer. One says classic writer, the other says sophisticated writer. What do you think makes up a literary look?

Literary Death: Octavia Butler

Oh, this hurts. This really does. I read her novels "Parable of the Sower" and "Parable of the Talents" at one of the bleakest moments of my existence. There was a lot of movement in my life and I couldn't seem to ground myself. A phrase from these books kept resonating with me: "God is Change."

She was classified as a science fiction writer, but her work went far and above this genre. She wrote about race and class and religion and war and love and hate and family and enemies. Reading her work was a life affirming experience. I understood that writing can make a difference. Read all about it: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420AP_WA_Obit_Butler.html

Literary Moon

This month offers the Lunar New Year, a real big deal in many Asian cultures. I'd attended a couple Lunar celebrations. The last one will be this Tuesday. I'd been pondering the Moon. The Moon has significance in my second novel (That's why it's called "Talking to the Moon.")

In my research, I discovered my ancestors planted and harvested rice using the lunar calendar (until Chirstian missionaries came along insisting that they change over to the solar calendar).

When I was in The Philippines a few years ago, farmers were drying rice on the sides of the road. We sped by with what seemed to be miles of rice. The rice being the color of the moon in this picture.

Literary Criticism

In the last issue of Frontiers Magazine, the fine writer Michelle Tea gracefully criticized the scam artist known as JT Leroy. She said that his fake, queer, literary persona was a betrayal to the lesbian, gay, trans, bi community who so rooted for him and cared for him as one of our own.

I wrote a letter to the editor thanking him for including Michelle's commentary. I also added by two bits, which weren't so graceful. I called Leroy "a good-for-nothing-lying-shitfaced-sewer-rat." It was printed (with my permission) in the current issue.

After reading it, I couldn't believe I voiced my opinion in such a brutal way. Could I have said it in a more appropriate manner? Then I thought: why should I censor myself? That's how I truly felt. Then I thought: But, Noel, you want to be a kinder person this year, remember? Then I thought: Screw kindness. Call a turd a turd. Then I thought: Yeah, but lovingkindness is my goal. Regardless of how I felt, I should have engaged in compassion.

Then quickly: Let it go, Noel. Just let it go.

Literary Inspiration: The Beauty Conference

I was asked to participate in "Beauty and Power In Filipino/American Communities" at UC Berkeley over the President's Day Weekend. Artists and scholars were gathered to seriously explore "Beauty." I didn't know what to expect, but I was truly inspired by the content of the conference. I was moved by old pictures of past Filipina beauty Queens (like the one pictured, circa 1932). I was reminded of just how many stories there are out there that need to be written about.

Lest you think this was a day of fluff, let me share with you the papers presented at the conference:

1. "Where Did You Get that Gorgeous Black Ballerina Dress?": Filipino American Postcolonialism and Modernity through Beauty" by Shirley J. Lim (Assoc. Professor in History, SUNY at Stony Brook.
2. "The Ideal Filipina" Filipina Americans and Queen Contests, 1920's-1950's by Dawn Bohulano Mabalon (Assistant Professor of history at San Francisco State University)
3. "The Lovely Nowhere": What the Exclusion of Filipina/o Americans from US Racial Discourse Implies for Issues of Gender/Sexuality by essayist Elizabeth H. Pisares
4. "Malakas at Maganda: Debutante Splendor As An Instrumental Cultural Resistance and Empowerment for Filipinos in America" by Evelyn Rodriquez (Assistant Professor, University of San Francisco)
5. "Avoiding the 'F' word(s): Filipinas and Fat" by Joanne L. Rondilla (Graduate Student, UC Berkeley)
6. "On Imeldific Beauty" by Roland B. Tolentino (Visiting Fellow, National University of Singapore)

The conference touched on racism, classism, feminism, and alot of other isms that I find interesting. I was flattered to be asked to be part of the discussion.

Literary Encounter: David Kipen

David Kipen has made a career talking, writing about books. He started a new job last year as the Director of Literature for the National Endowment for the Arts. Mr. Kipen is one of the most interesting people you'll ever want to meet. He has a book called the "Schreiber Theory" which discusses the important role of the screenwriter in film. Let's face it: a writer for the screen doesn't get the same kind of recognition that a novelist or playwright would get. "The time is ripe," David said, noting that the Nobel Prize went to the first screenwriter ever. Prize winner Harold Pinter wrote for the screen as avidly as he did for the stage. Some of Pinter's work for the screen included "The Last Tycoon" and the adaptation of "The French Leiutenant's Woman." Here's to the screenwriter.

Literary Apology (in advance)

I saw Capote this week. I was terribly moved by it, particularly the angst of trying to get a book done. There's a point in the movie when Capote just wants the book to end. He had given four years of his life to it and he just wants it to be over with (even at the horrible expense of others). In writing my second novel "Talking to the Moon," I simply wanted the whole thing to be completed so I can go on with my life. I work a full-time job (along with other part-time gigs that may come my way), so my writing time was limited. I cancelled appointments, didn't return phonecalls or e-mails just so I could focus on completing the story. I lost friends over this, I'm sure. In my last post, I wrote about FINALLY reaching 75, the number of pages I needed to fully commit to a book. I think I understand why it took me so long to leap into that magical page: It's a pain to make that committment to write another novel again: the worry of doing justice to the characters; the research I'll have to do to make the plot plausible; the waking up in the middle of the night to jot down a few sentences that might make the story work--or not. All of this taking months, years even. Then after going through all of this, there is the possibility that no one will want to publish it. This is what I'm committing to when I touched down on page 75. To all my friends reading this, I apologize in advance for not returning your phonecalls, your e-mails, for not making your birthday parties and anniversaries, for not listening to your joys and problems, for not being there when you need me most. If you need to cut me out of your life for being a poor friend, an unconsoling shoulder, I'll understand. I am so sorry in advance. I'll be writing.

Literary Seventy-Five

Don't laugh. Somewhere, in the back of my brain, I thought that if I could just reach 75 pages of my next novel, I would HAVE to complete it. I believed that 75 pages would be a substantial amount of work that turning back would just be plain stupid. Keep in mind those pages are made up of character sketches, rough plot points, and notes to myself (like "write about Uncle Bernie here" or "Describe how protagonist steals bus from nun"). I'd been hanging out on page 74 for months. Well, I reached 75. Now, the next course of action is to print it out, go to the beach, read the sucker, and see how I can make the manuscript more of a real novel.

Literary Promise: A Book This Year

My agent called to see how I felt about my book being pushed back. He wanted to make sure that I wasn't frustrated or angry about it. (This call shocked me. An agent calling to check on the emotional well-being of a client? Especially when I know that I'm low author on his literary totem pole.) I told him I was fine with it. My New Year's Resolution: "Roll With It."

We got to talking about other things, particularly about writing full time. He said some authors make it a point to write a book a year, so they don't lose their readership and gain more of an audience base. A book a year?!?!?

I got to thinking. My first novel was published in 2002. My second novel will be published in 2007. That's five years between books. At this rate, my third book won't be out until 2012! For some reason that did not sit well with me. I feel like I have lots of books inside of me and at the rate I'm going, if I write till I'm 100, I still won't have written all the books I'd wanted to write.
(I'm still awed about how Jack London had written some 50 volumes of novels, short stories, and essays by the time he died at 40; see Novemeber Post: "Literary Oakland")

I realized I needed to start crackin' if I want to say all the stories I need to say. I found myself uttering these words to my agent: "I'll have my next book to you this year." Hala!

It' nose-to-the-grindstone time.

Literary Waiting

It can take 12-18 months for a novel to come out once a publisher acquires it. My second novel was bought last spring. I thought it would be coming out this fall. Alas, it's been pushed back to Winter 2007. So, I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me next year.

Literary Low: Nasdijj

Where to start. Another literary fraud. This time it's a Native American writer named Nasdijj who wrote a memoir about caring for his dying son with AIDS. A friend insisted I read this book. I bought it and saved it for a special time when I was prepared to read a person of color's experience whose life was truly affected by AIDS. It turns out, he is NOT Native American and he did NOT care for a child that died of AIDS. This is a new low.

Literary Death: Wendy Wasserstein

Playwright Wendy Wasserstein, known for writing breakthrough womens roles (most notably for "The Heidi Chronicles"), passed away of cancer. She was 55 years old. Young, way too young.

Literary Life: My First Column!

Arts and Understanding (A&U), America's AIDS Magazine, said yes to a column idea of mine. We'd been going back and forth about what I could possibly contribute to this magazine that's currently celebrating it's 15th year of existence. The magazine started at about the time I started to do AIDS work. Then it came to me: why not do a column on those who have managed to work in the AIDS field for quite some time, atleast 5 years or so. The column, called "From the Trenches," would explore how these fine people keep going in a field where people usually leave after two years.

It'll be a quarterly column and it debuted in the January issue. I wrote about the inspirational Terri Ford, a woman doing AIDS work for 16 years now!

Literary Fray Over Frey

Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. I'm going to explode into a million little pieces if I hear one more thing about James Frey and his memoir. Enough, enough, enough. Please, please, please. All of this will cause me to drink and smoke again. Please! Stop!!!

Literary Passing: Dr. Betty Berzon

I got a call this morning that a vanguard of the queer literary scene passed away. Dr. Betty Berzon, a psychotherapist who promoted the well being of queer lives, won a Lambda Literary Prize for her memoir "Surviving Madness".

She had worked on several books on queer mental health, including "Positively Gay." She did a lot of work in educating everyone about the problems and solutions of being queeer in America.

I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Berzon when she would support events at Skylight Bookstore. I also had the honor of interviewing her for a magazine piece on the 10th anniversary death of her friend writer Paul Monette.

She is survived by her longtime companion, Terry deCrecenzo. (I can't begin to tell you how heartbreaking it was to get that phonecall.)

Literary Meditation

I take meditation very seriously. I can't properly start my day without meditating. What makes this experience imortant to me is having the time to feel truly calm and have a mind clear of obscuring thoughts.

Lately, my mind has been filled with plot points and character sketches. It's been seeping into my meditation sessions. It's become a double edge sword. I love having creative thoughts, but I know that it defeats meditating, a practice that asks me to have an "empty" mind.

Anyone out there in cyber world have any suggestions?

Literary addictions

It is widely known that writers have some of the most addictive personalities. Of course, some of the addictions got the best of them. Some writers who have died from alcoholism include novelist Grace Metaloius and short story writer Raymond Carver. Of course, writers from Poe to Capote were also known to get sauced!

Then there are smokers like Hunter S. Thomposon (pictured) and Ernest Hemingway (also a drunk).

I confess that I used to drink and smoke. I thought all that shit helped me create. I hadn't had a drop of booze in 13 years and I recently honored my first year of being smoke free.

I've never been more creative.

Literary Fake Out?

I'm still spinning over the fact that JT Leroy, the much hailed writer who wrote sad, intense stories about abuse and prostitution, isn't real. I'm spinning because I met the "guy" when he came to Skylight to promote "his" work. We were all warned that he was highly protective of his identity and wore a blonde wig to conceal himself.

He didn't read his work. Actors and musicians read for him. A bandmember from Nine Inch Nails was one of the readers.

JT LeRoy struck me as a damaged creature and I felt sorry for him. Now, I want to kick him, especially since part of his identity was to make people believe he was HIV positive.

Literary Controversy

I caught the Larry King Live interview with James Frey, the writer who has been under fire for embellishing his memoir. I knew that this category of "memoir" would confuse people. I'm glad that this little controversy took place, so there can be a clearer delineation between memoiric writing (taken from one's own memory) and autobiographical writinig (event driven).

Mr. Frey was a gracious guest, simply stating that what was being questioned in his book stood for a mere 5 percent of his story and the central themes of drug and alcohol addiction should take center stage.

This is not the first time books of nonfiction have been questioned: Alex Haley's "Roots" came under fire for historical accuracy and Carlos Bulosan's "America is in the Heart" because his adventures seemed too overwhelming for one person.

The high point of the evening was when Oprah herself called in to stand by her recommendation. I love live TV.

Literary DC

I'm in DC for a conference. I've been "monumenting" on my off time. My favorite is the Lincoln Memorial. Alot of greating writing is associated with this memorial. From "Four score and seven years ago" to "I have a dream."

Literary Quiz: He is the only US President who hasn't published a book by the time he took office. Who is he?

Literary Birthday

What do JD Salinger and I have in common? We share the same birthday. We were both born on January 1st. I turned 38 this week.

Literary Photo: Part 2

I'm still trying to decide on an author photo.


Maybe this one?

Literary Pageant

A few years ago, I wrote a performance piece called "Master of the (Miss) Universe," a show examining beauty, culture, heritage. I wrote that The Philippines is obsessed with pageants. The last two Filipino women who won the Miss Universe title were put on stamps! I also wrote that Filipinos love a good pageant, recalling Miss America 2000 when a Filipina from Hawaii won the crown, becoming the pageant's first winner of Asian descent.

Recently, Miss America, an instituion in the pageant world, was in danger of going off the air. No television station wanted it due to poor ratings. Country Music Television (CMT) saved Miss America from near death. I read about it in the New York Times. I busted up laughing. True to form, look who is saving the Miss America pageant from going under.

From the NYT:
"No one within CMT lobbied more forcefully to get Miss America than Paul Villadolid, an MTV alumnus who is vice president of programming and development at CMT. Like the country channel itself, Mr. Villadolid would seem to be an unlikely suitor for Miss America: the son of Filipino immigrants...."

Literary Heaven

I watched Barbara Walter's interview with the Dalai Lama (pictured), a show dedicated to what "Heaven" is all about. I've been thinking about the role of Heaven in books. In my next novel, the concept of life-after-death is explored.
(I purposely did not read "Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold so I wouldn't be influenced.)

I'm wondering if there is a trend in literature where more discussion about God, Heaven, and spirituality will be seen more and more in books.

Uh, as Baby Boomers age, I'm sure more questions about what happens to us when we die will become more frequent.

Literary Move to the Screen

I saw the movie Narnia, based on work by CS Lewis. It's the third book to movie experience I'd had recently. ("Harry Potter" and "Memoirs of a Geisha" being the others) The book has been around for quite some time, but it wasn't until recently that we had the technology to carry off the kind of effects needed to tell this story. The movie was spectacular.

I was thrilled to see Tilda Swinton's (pictured) name flash across the screen. I'd been a fan of hers for such a long time. I first saw her in "Orlando" and was awed by a fashion spread she did in Vanity Fair. She's one of the few actresses who not only looks aristocratic but IS aristocratic (her father is a knight).

Literari Wondering: Bad speller = bad writer?

Are writers supposed to be good spellers? I'm not a good speller. Sometimes when I critique work, writing comments in the margins, I think I missspel words. Then I think I'm dum-dum. Then I think: How can you take kriticism from someone who can't spel?

Literary versus Cinematic

I went to see "Memoirs of a Geisha" with my mother. She said she HAD to go see this. I read the novel when it first came out and fell into the pages of this book. I would think that Hollywood would be able to capture the grandeur and breadth of this story. Surprisingly, it did not. The movie was certainly entertaining, but the book left me with the most vivid pictures in my mind. Any man made efforts to replace them simply failed.

The descriptions of the kimonos in the novel, for example, created the most incredible designs in my head. The ones in the movie, albeit lovely, appeared to be embroidered napkins compared to the fantasy I'd created.

Arundhati Roy refused to have her international bestseller "The God of Small Things" turned into a movie. She said that millions of people had already created movies in their heads and she didn't want to spoil it.

The one thing that DID go well beyond my expectations is Gong Li (pictured) as the antagonist Hatsumomo. The novel portrayed the geishas with such incredible beauty that no human would be able to compete. Gong Li is a woman of exceptional beauty. I must confess that I've always thought of Gong Li as one of the screen's most ravishing women--right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. Seeing Gong Li was a major factor in spending money on this movie. (Check out Gong Li's performance in Raise the Red Lantern--that opening scene with tears running down her face stained my soul.)

Literary Cause: Freedom to Write

I write letters to Turkey, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka. Why? Because there are writers who are suffering. Their government finds their work offensive or unfit for public consumption.

They're arrested, beaten up, thrown in jail--for a poem or a short story. I wrote a letter to China today because a writer told the story of a bird who wanted to fly freely, but was caged by humans. The bird chose to commit suicide than have freedom denied. The story ruffled some communist feathers and the writer was jailed, sentenced to serve ten years!

I write letters through the Freedom to Write campaign out of the PEN Center USA West--a remarkable organization. Check 'em out.

http://penusa.org/go/programs/

Literary Encounter: Luis Rodriguez

Luis Rodriguez came by Skylight a little while ago. The audience asked him intense questions about politics, gang life, the prison system.

I asked him: "What makes you laugh your head off?"

"When smart people do something stupid," he said. "Or when stupid people do something smart. It would make me laugh if Bush or Schwarzenegger actually said something with substance. I'd laugh my head off. Or if the Dalai Lama, ambling solemnly in his orange robes, all of a sudden did an Irish jig. I'd crack up then. The funniest things are the broken mirror images of our so-serious realities. It's sad if we can't see the illusion. It's funny if we see them for what they are. Laugh. Dance. Cry. Just know the differences."

You gotta check this guy out: http://www.luisjrodriguez.com/

Literary First

I am so close to a first draft of my third novel. Once a first draft is done, there's no going back.

Close. So close.

Literary Joke

Literary Loss: World AIDS Day

At work, we observed World AIDS Day. December 1st is a day chosen by the World Health Organization to recognize those who are affected/infected with HIV/AIDS.

I think of all the artists, especially writers, who passed. I am sure there are plenty of storied untold because of their deaths. Paul Monette and Harold Brodkey come to mind.

"First Love and Other Sorrows" by Brodkey and "Becoming a Man" by Monette made me a better human being.

Literary Memoir

Okay, so I'm reading memoirs these days. I'm thinking: my life is a hell of a lot more interesting than what some of these people are experiencing. I never thought of writing one because everyone and his mother is writing a memoir. Hell, Clay Aiken (left) from American Idol has a memoir.

I believed I was too young to write such a thing. Then I thought: I am pushing the big four-oh. Maybe I have a little life to write about. One thing for sure--what I experienced before I was fifteen was a lot more exciting than what some memoirists are writing about.

The only problem with a memoir is that everyone will know your business. I mean, do I really want my mother to know what I was doing before I was fifteen?

Literary Salmon

I started a short story yesterday. I started a personal essay this morning. I've been thinking about ways of starting a new novel. I looked through some of my old files and saw a number of stories that I'd started and have yet to finish. These stories seem like salmon: many begin the trek to spawn, but only a few actually complete the journey.

Literary Repitition: The Barong

I started a piece this morning. It was a story that I'd been thinking about for a year. It was inspired from a trip to The Philippines I took in 2004. (Sheesh, that country so inspires me. I wish I could be there more often.) I'm simply "free-writing" about characters in this story and one of the characters is suddenly wearing a "barong." This item of clothing has appeared many times in several of my stories. I don't know why I have a fascination with this shirt and feel the need bring it into my work so often. Think about it: would a writer constantly bring in the same tuxedo to his work? I admit to owning atleast ten barongs in different styles.

I think somewhere deep down inside, I so associate the history of The Philippines with the Barong. For example, the reason the shirt is transparent is because the Spanish, who ruled the country for 4 hundred years, were afraid that their Filipino servants were carrying weapons. Thus, the making of barong required a sheer look, so knives could be detected. I suppose it was the Spanish version of the metal detector.

On another note, I find them absolutely beautiful. I have pictures of my cousin's wedding. All of the men wore barongs. I didn't think much of it at the time, but in photos, there was something aesthically pleasing about seeing all of these Filipino men huddled together wearing this elegant, pristine looking shirt.

Literary Egypt

What did King Tut read? I wondered this as I caught the midnight tour of the Tut exhibit at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. (It's the last weekend of the exhibit. They' re holding tours 24 hours a day.) Hierogliphics--is this how it's spelled?-- is so beautiful to look at, I wondered what it was like to read.

Going to this exhibit satisfied a childhood dream. I remember the King Tut exhibit when it first came to LA in the 1970's. I wanted to go so badly, but my family was not the go-to-the-museum type of family. I remember passing LACMA as a kid and watching people go inside. I was so envious.

Literary Head-Up-My-Ass

So, have you ever felt like this? I mean, wondered if you made the right choices?

Maybe because we're nearing the end of the year. Maybe because I have a birthday coming up. But my head is going places it shouldn't be. My head is telling me I should have done more, owned more, learned more.

Then, today, I met several people who made "right" moves: went to good schools, recieved advanced degrees, got well paying jobs. After some conversation, I discovered that what they REALLY
want to do is publish a novel or write a book of poems. They have jobs which demands 60-70 hours a week, time that sucks away any energy for writing.

What are they going to do? They're quiting their jobs and are starting from scratch. A good number of them are my age or older, much older.

Suddenly, I realized I'd had my head up my ass. I made the right choices and they were good choices. I'm on a path that many people envy. After meeting these people, I became grateful, very, very grateful.

Lilterary Return: Boldly Back

For the last several weeks, I'd been preparing for today: a press conference announcing the formation of API Equality-LA, a group to work on the same gender marriage issue in the Asian and Pacific Islander (API) communities. George Takei (left), most familiar as Mr. Sulu on Star Trek, and assemblymember Judy Chu were there to announce their support.

I was the point person to bring in media. I'd been losing sleep over this press conference, wondering if any one would come. It is a crappy thing to have a press conference with no press.
It got so bad that I could't write because I was caught up in this event. The only things I was writing were press releases and media advisories.

Well, it's over...and it was a smashing success. They came out, from Asian media like the Singtao Daily to mainstream press like ABC, Channel 7. It's done--atleast until the next event.

I'm hoping to buckle down and get back to my novel. It's amazing how I missed worrying about my novel when I wasn't worrying about it.

Literary Oakland

So, I'm here in Oakland, California attending a conference. Most people don't realize how truly literary this place is. Novelist, essayist Jack London (left) is from Oakland. Mr. London died at 40--an age I'm fast approaching. By the time he died, he had published 50 volumes of novels, short stories, and essays! (Okay, I'm feeling inadequate.)

The other famous Oaklander is Gertrude Stein. I don't think Oakland is praising her, however. (Jack London has a square named after him here). Ms. Stein famously insulted the City of Oakland. She said, "There's no there there."

Literary Get Away

I had to leave town for awhile and breathe. I was feeling bitter--more than usual--and tired. I went to Northern California for several days. I drove up and enjoyed the ride up the 5 freeway. Normally, I dread such a trek (it took me 8 hours), but I enjoyed the fact that I was getting away. Even the smell of death didn't bother me as much. (Anyone whose driven up the 5, heading north, will know about passing the bovine slaughter house--Cowshwitz a friend calls it--which stinks to high heaven.)

I had moments to ponder my next novel. I need to change the names of some characters. I'd pulled names out of the air, just to have them. Now, as the story grows, I found that some of the names no longer have the same kind of resonance. Also, I made notes of developing one particular character that's been feeling unwhole.

I took the 101 freeway down--a much longer trip than the 5. It was coming down the 101 that I saw how truly beautiful California is: the lovely Autumn influence on the vineyards of Napa Valley, the charm of San Francisco, the crisp beaches of central California, and eventually the bustle of Los Angeles.

I needed this trip. I gathered myself back together.

Literary Reasons: Icon Magazine

So, many moons ago, I thought why should I come out of the closet? Why should I care about writing about my Filipino background. I mean, it's not like anyone is going to care. Gay Filipinos are such a small part of the world's population. Who would want to listen to anything that I said or did? Recently, Icon, a gay Filipino magazine in The Philippines--and one of the few in Asia, interviewed me. I couldn't believe that a whole magazine is dedicated to this "small part of the world."

I write for many reasons. A big one is to examine the intersection of different lives, countries, time periods, and beliefs. I heard a radio interview with Maya Angelou who said that people read to hear "The Truth." It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, people want "The Truth." Coming out and accepting myself as a gay Filipino man was one of the most truthful things that I ever did. I hope some of that Truth comes out in my work.