Hope and Inpiration at Jury Duty

Last week, I had to be at the Van Nuys courthouse by 10am to report for jury duty (JD).  I've done JD many times.  I was usually assigned a courthouse in downtown Los Angeles.  The drive into the San Fernando Valley on a weekday morning was not something I looked forward to.  However, I wanted to do my civic duty.

I brought stuff to read.  I brought my laptop to the jury waiting room.  I'm doing rewrites on some creative projects.  The work never seems to be ready.   

I was prepared for a long and dreadful day.  Then I saw a stack of New Yorkers.  I used to be an avid reader (when my boyfriend subscribed to it).  I hadn't been with him in many years, but always enjoyed an issue when I saw one lying around, say in a doctor's office. 

On this day, there was a stack of them.  Thanks to the kind soul who left New Yorkers around for jurors to read--Good Housekeeping was not something I would have picked up for reading material.
 

I believe that things happen for a reason.  If sending me to Jury Duty was the only way the Universe would get me to read the April 29, 2013 issue of the New Yorker, I offer prostrations to all of the Gods in Heaven.  I stumbled across John McPhee's "Draft No. 4," which can be previewed here. 

The article basically talked about getting the first draft done of any writing and how the fourth draft usually looks like the most presentable.  It was this letter to his daughter, that inspired me.

Dear Jenny:  The way to do a piece of writing is three or four times over, never once.  For me, the hardest part comes first, getting something--anything--out in front of me.  Sometimes in a nervous frenzy I just fling words as if I were flinging mud at a wall.  Blurt out, heave out, babble out something--anything--as a first draft.  With that, you have achieved a sort of nucleus.  Then, as you work it over and alter it, you begin to shape sentences that score higher with the ear and eye.  Edit it again--top to bottom.  Chances are that about now you'll be seeing something that you are sort of eager for others to see.   And all that takes time.  What I have left out is the interstitial time.  You finish that first awful blurting and then you put the thing aside.  You get in your car and drive home.  On the way, your mind is still knitting at the words.  You think of a better way to say something, a good phrase to correct a certain problem.  Without the drafted version--if it did not exist--you obviously would not be thinking of things that would improve it.  In short, you may be actually writing only two or three hours a day, but your mind, in one way or another, is working on it twenty-four hours a day--yes, while you sleep--but only if some sort of draft or earlier version already exists.  Until it exists, writing has not really begun. 

Montgomery Clift's Newphew in my Apartment!!!

In researching my first novel Letters to Montgomery Clift, I read many articles and books about my favorite movie star.  I also watched documentaries.  Who knew I'd be in a new Montgomery Clift documentary, produced by Montgomery Clift's nephew, Robert Clift! Robert Clift is the son of Brooks Clift (Monty's brother) and  journalist (and The McLaughlin Group's) Eleanor Clift.

It was great having Robert Clift and his lovely wife Hillary Daemon Clift in my apartment.  They were both insanely sweet people.  Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less from the Clift family.

It was a dream come true to talk about Montgomery Clift for hours with someone who was related to him.  Hillary emailed me some months ago, and I couldn't believe that I was in contact with members of Montgomery Clift's family.

There hadn't been a new legitimate documentary on Montgomery Clift in some time.  When I mean "legitimate," I mean a well-researched, thoughtful film on the subject matter.  Those salacious bio episodes for cable entertainment don't count.

A new perspective on this important actor and his contributions, taken with a more contemporary outlook is needed. 

Good-Bye Vince Flynn

Back in 2007, when my second novel Talking to the Moon came out, I attended a literary event where Vince Flynn spoke.  It was a crime/mystery dinner.  I was invited because "Moon" dealt with a hate crime. 

Mr. Flynn was tall and confident.  He was introduced as a New York Times Bestselling author and with the success of his novels, he had easy access to the CIA.  Apparently, his novels about spies are a favorite among spies.

I remember marveling at his success.  He and I were about the same age, and I wondered what it meant to be that successful.  To have several books make it to the New York Times Best Sellers List, must make him a man of means. 

Now, I wondered, because he and I are about the same age, how he could have died.  I know it was prostate cancer, but that doesn't diminish the fact that he was still young.  He probably had many more books inside of him. 

This is also a reminder that no matter how successful you get, you can't take it with you.  I hope his family and friends find strength to endure this.

Another Draft Out

Last week, I sent another draft to my agent.  I took some vacation days from work to finish it.  So, the dance continues.  He'll look at it, then get it back to me, more revisions. 

There came a point where I wondered: this novel is a piece of crap.  It's come to the point where I've lost any kind sanity when it comes to this book.  All I could do is look at my agent's notes and try my best to follow through.

Many notes are easy to fix--grammar, word-choicing--things like that.  It's the more abstract notes that require the most brain power.  My agent wanted to hear more of my protagonist's internal monologue, his reactions to situations.  That's when it took a little more effort. 

I get to rest for now.   

Week to Write!

I only have five days to revise my novel before I send it off on Thursday.  I'm taking the week off work to do this.  I've made some significant changes to the beginning.  Wish me luck!

Still Dancing

My agent got back to me with notes on my novel this week.  I'm happy to get them and work on them.  I have till May 31 to do the rewrite.  Focus!

Going Schizo this Week

                                          (A random pic with CNN's Wolf Blizter.)

It's funny how it's quiet for a long time, then--boom!--tae happens all at once.  I'm going to be exhibiting ALL of my talents in one week.   

1.  April 4 at 7:30pm.  Skylight Showcase.  Skylight Books, 1818 N. Vermont in Los Feliz.  I'll be reading my short story Laconic Messages of Love, which was anthologized in Best Gay American Short Stories, 2012, at the Skylight Showcase.  The showcase will have a number of Skylight staffers showing off their skills in the fields  of literature, music, film, installations, paintings.  (I'll also have one of my paintings on view).

2.  April 4 - April 28, The Culture of Communication, Casa0101, 2102 E. 1st Street, Los Angeles.  I'll have some paintings in this group show, curated by the fine Margaret Garcia.  Other artists include Joy Alumit, Kikki Eder, Margaret Garcia, Sergio Hernandez, Bonnie Lambert, Barry Markowitz, Ester Petschar, Monica Ramirez, Michael Rascon, Suzanne Urquiza and Others.
The Culture of Communication will compliment a fascinating play called Tamales de Puerco, a family drama about a Latino family dealing with a deaf child.  It is a "trilingual play in English, Spanish and American Sign Language.

3.    Sunday, April 7 at 8pm, The W(hole) Story: Anal Gazing, Not Navel Gazing.  Akbar, 4356 W. Sunset (cross is Fountain in Silverlake).  Suggested donation: $5.  It's sorta like the gay version of the Vagina Monologues.  I'll be returning to my first love--performance.  There's been a new solo show percolating.  I'll be showing a bit of it.  It's curated by Steven Reigns and fellow artists include:  Daniel Foster, Gavy Kessler, Chris Lung, Ian MacKinnon, Martin Martinez.

Hope to see you at some point!

 

A Kind of Cry

I can hear my neighbor weeping
through our thin walls. 
It sounds like a heartbreak-cry.
It doesn't sound like a I-lost-my-job-cry
Or a I-can't-believe-my-best-friend-betrayed-me-cry.
It sounds like a someone-I-loved-doesn't-love-me-back cry--
simply a Heartbreak.

I know that cry.  I know it well.

Major Step

The dance continues.   A year ago, my agent read 100 pages, which he said needed some major work.  He asked for revisions and instructed me to finish the novel.  I did that recently.  The last five months have been pretty bare for me as I tried to finish this novel.  In other words, I stayed home most nights and weekends so I can have the time to write.  This is the writer's life.  Face to the computer. 

There is nothing romantic about it.  This is fucking work. 

Notes from a Panel

I curated a panel at Skylight Books to discuss the publishing industry.  The panelists were Writer and Teacher Dana Johnson, Editor Dan Smetanka, Agent B.J. Robbins and Critic David Ulin. It was a great opportunity to provide our neighborhood writers a chance to get advice from experts on how to get published.  Here are some worthy comments:

1.  Consider book contests in trying to get published.
2.  Make sure query letters to agents are professional.  (Please have someone read it before it goes out.  A letter that says I wrote a "fictional novel" will not be taken seriously.)
3.  Don't think about getting a book published, think about having a career.
4.  Don't take rejections personally.  If a book gets rejected, it doesn't mean a book is bad. It just means the book is not right for that particular editor/agent.
5.  Look at the Acknowledgment Page of a book similar to yours to find an editor and agent. 
6.  Find a literary community.  Through this community, one gets an idea of where the agents/editors are.  (Indeed, I won a literary contest with a nice cash sum because another writer in my community told me about it.)
7.  Be aware and alert of what's going on in publishing.  Gone are the days when writers just wrote books and others publish and market them.  Writers are EXPECTED to work hard to get their books out there.
8.  The rejection experience doesn't have to be negative.  Some agents give feedback on how to make the project better.
9.  Beware of the internet and technology: It can be a distraction--facebooking is not writing.
10.  Know your genre.  If you want to debut your first novel, please be prepared to answer this question: Who were the five First Novels you read last year? 
11.  Blogging is over.  (I understand the irony as I write this blog).

Memorials

It's hard going to a memorial. I went to three recently.  One was for activist Tak Yamamoto did a lot for the gay and Asian community.  Another was for Dramaturg Jim Boyle who did some good workin LA Theatre and worked as a screenwriting professor at USC for many years.  They led full and interesting lives.

The hardest memorial was Justin, a bookseller I worked with at Skylight.  He was 35.  He died of alcoholism. 

Memorials or funerals are more for the living.  It helps with the grieving process.  We gathered and remembered him.  I didn't want to be caught babbling, so I wrote a poem. 

Namaste.

What Am I Doing at 7am?

The morning after election day, I had a phone appointment with Maryland.  The fine Lambda Literary organization hooked me up with The Tatnall School to talk about my work as a writer.  I put on my robe, had some coffe then had stimulating conversation about a few short stories that I'd written. (One of them you could read here.)

It was incredible conversation.  However, what intrigued me most was the ways a writer can interact with his readership.  There I was asleep, then an hour later, I'm on the phone talking to students across the coutnry.  Sweet.  Something tells me this is the new wave of book promotion. 

Asian Americans for Prop 30

I went to a press conference urging Asian Americans to vote YES on Prop 30, which would stop $6 Billion in cuts to our schools this year and prevent tuition hikes.  California's wealthiest (those who make $250,000 or couples who make over $500,000 a year) will have their taxes temporarily raised for seven years. 

Civil Rights Activist and Zen Nun Angela Oh, Senator Carol Liu and me

I was there to present a world where $6 Billion cuts would affect our schools:  less English lessons, which would be deadly for Asians with a large limited English population; less history, which may mean leaving out stories of people of color in our curriculums; or less health education, which means putting our youth at risk for sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.

Assemblymembers Warren Furutani, Mike Eng, State Senators Ted Lieu and Carol Liu, Mayors Ed Lee, Jean Quan, Evan Low are among those those who favor Prop. 30.

The LA Times, Sacramento Bee, San Francisco Chronicle also favor Prop 30.

More on Prop 30 here.

Sumi and Me

Every once and awhile, I get to do something really cool.  On October 27, I wen to the launch of the Philippine Heritage Collection at the Echo Park Library.  That was the library I used to go to as a child.  It was truly a remarkable feeling being apart of this event, particularly since my novels have scenes set in the area.

What a greater joy it was to sit next to Sumi Haru, a woman who recently released a memoir about her life.  I'd greatly admired this woman for a long time.  Back in the 1990's I went to an event that the Screen Actors Guild was sponsoring for actors of color in Hollywood.  Sumi was one of their panelists.  She had been on SAG's board since the 1970's and did amazing work to push for equal opportunities for minority actors in entertainment.

Now, in her 70's, Ms. Haru continues to grow and change.  Author is her latest title.

A Bunch of Gay Guys Talking About Writing

I hope you can join me this Sunday, September 30 at the West Hollywood Bookfair.  I'm on at 1:30.  I'll be moderating a panel with Eduardo Santiago, George Snyder and Kergan Edwards-Scout.  More here.

Hot or Cold?

Come check out the lates Dead Poetry Slam from Smartgals on September 9 at 5pm. 

Skylight Books
1818 N. Vermont
LA  CA  90027

More here.

A Different Direction--Doh!

There I was writing along, thinking I knew what was going on with my latest novel "Miraculous Boy."  Then an idea pops into my head, a surprise way of dealing with the narrator.  It came out of nowhere.  Most writers would be happy.  My initial response was--NO!!! 

You see if I went this direction, I would have to justify it somehow.  This would mean going back and rewriting sections to make it work.  Dang it--I didn't want to do that. 

So, I'm wading through it, trying it, tossing it around, seeing if it works.  More later. 

Reading Joan Didion: Being Awake in the 1980's

I'd been reading lots of nonfiction, particulary about writers writing about their own lives or providing their own spin on things (pop culture, politics, etc.)  In the past six months, I've read Jeanette Winterson, David Sedaris, Augustin Burroughs, William Styron and Anne Lamotte.  It's great reading about how writers have lead their lives, leading them to the books they write today.

I'm finishing up Joan Didion's After Henry, a book of essays that was published in the early 1990's.  Most of what she writes about is Los Angeles in the 1980's.  I consider the 1980's an important time in my life.  I went through junior high, high school and college in that decade, all of that time in Los Angeles.  Our view of our city at that time is drastically different.

Joan Didion was (is) a mature, astute artist, writing about environment, politics, history.  I was, well, an adolescent growing into young adulthood--my head was in a totally different space.   Reading After Henry, gave me an alternate reality of someone else living in the same city at the same time.  It was truly illuminating, and I loved it.

What is also did was reinforce my own Voice as a writer, because I'm contributing something else.  In these pages, Joan Didion doesn't write about AIDS, that horrible disease that came to light in the 1980's that was an iconic marker in gay history.  Nor does she write about the fall of the Marcos regime, one that influenced the lives of Filipinos all over the world.  Both of these events had influenced me, shaping my world view.

I read that Toni Morrison wanted to write stories that wouldn't have been written if it weren't for her.  Me, too!  It was great reading about Joan Didion's Los Angeles.  Now, I'm going to write about my Los Angeles.  What will you write that no one else is saying?

The Philippines is in the Heart

I hope you can attend this:  The Philippines is in the Heart, Exploring the Filipino Diaspora in Los Angeles.  June 23 at 2pm.  The Silverlake Library, 2411 Glendale Blvd (across the street from Bank of America).  I'll be sharing the mic with Gioavanni Ortega and Alison de la Cruz.  We'll be exploring the work of Filpino literati, from Carlos Bulosan to Barbara Jane Reyes.  This is a PEN Center USA event. 

What it Means to be Gay...

I wrote a piece for the LA Weekly on what it means to be gay.  I affectionately call it:  Gayer with the Mayor.  More here.