Returning to My First Love

Last weekend, I participated in the West Hollywood Bookfair. I'd participated before and always have a great time. This year was significant for me. I usually go as an author, reading something from a book or moderating a panel. This year I went as a "performer," a title I hadn't claimed in a really long time. I performed a monologue from my first show "The Rice Room: Scenes from a Bar."

Acting was my first love. I began pursuing it professionally when I was a teenager, getting my first agent at sixteen. I went to college majoring in Theatre. I thought I'd be doing it for the rest of my life. Then I discovered writing, a blind date that turned into a full on love affair. I found myself juggling two lovers.

About five years ago, around the time my father died, I sort of abandoned my first love. I felt the need to be alone, something writing allowed. I experienced a kind of transition when dad left, I truly felt like my childhood had passed away. My first love was a part of that. I'd heard that a son doesn't truly become a man until his father dies. I understood that.

Earlier this year, I began thinking about my old lover. In rekindling an old relationship, I talked about it with friends who encouraged me to go about it. I called up my agent, a very patient man, and asked him if he'd be willing to represent me again. He was kind enough to say, yes. I made sure my union cards were all in order and started auditioning again.

The fine theatre artist Michael Kearns asked me to be a part of his Queer Renegades at the Weho Bookfest. I took it as a positive sign. I went about memorizing lines again and rehearsing. It felt strange yet familiar.

I think that's why I decided to remove the "Literary" from my posts this year. My creative life will encompass more from now on.

Ironically, I started a short story about an actor. I do think I have a Hollywood book in me. If my return to acting will facilitate more stories, what a wonderful result that will be.

For a tour of the Weho Bookfair, click Here. Thanks to Karen Ocamb for sharing this link.