Remembering Ayofemi, Remember Why

Ayofemi Folayan passed away recently.  She was my first writing teacher, and I owe her a tremendous amount of gratitude.  In the early 1990's, I was a few years out of acting school, and not acting.  Creativity had always been a strong tool in dealing with the world, and I needed to be creative.  As any actor will you, you're never acting enough and you're usually waiting for someone's permission to act. 

I started her writing workshop, a space she had for LGBT people of color.  She wanted space for young writers to say whatever they wanted to say.  She encouraged writing exploring issues of being a double minority.  I had been in creative spaces before--I had a degree in Theatre.  However, her class was different.  She asked us to travel deeply within ourselves, uncork our thoughts on truly difficult themes: racism, homophobia, immigration.  She helped me become a person who could comfortably speak my mind--with tact and generosity.  She helped developed my Voice. 

One day, she said she was selling her computer for a newer one.  I bought it.  And still have it.  I typed out stories on this old clunker.  I dug it out to look at it and remember my joy of writing in the first place. 

It's been twenty years, and I may have become a little jaded.  I'm being asked to consider "the market" when I write.  Can I sell whatever story I'm writing.  I must confess I had been having some frustration with my current novel.  I feel like my Voice had been muddled.  I'd been choking on what to say.

With Ayofemi's passing, I'm reminded as to why I started writing.  I wanted to do something honest and true.  I wanted to put something out in the world that was valuable.  I wanted to be the kind of writer Ayofemi would have been proud of.  And I still do.

 

 

Thank you, Ayofemi, for your service.

"LGBT Writers Who Inspire Us" on June 6th!

Skylight Books has been kind enough to allow me to curate this series.  It's been in existence for three years, and falls on the eve of Gay Pride in Los Angeles.  On June 6, the work of James Baldwin, Oscar Wilde, Lidia Yuknavitch, Eloise Klein Healy, and Jerome Steuart will be explored by some of today's finest writers.  Naomi Hirahara, Ali Liebegott, Wendy Ortiz, and Jervey Tervalon will light up the night!

 

June 6

7:30pm

Skylight Books

1818 N. Vermont Ave.

Los Angeles  CA  90027

FREE

 

Naomi Hirahara is an Edgar Award Winning writer.  Her debut mystery Summer of the Big Bachi received a starred review from Publishers Weekly.   It has been included in the trade magazine's list of best books of 2004, as well as the best mystery list of the Chicago Tribune. Gasa-Gasa Girl, the second Mas Arai mystery, received a starred review from Booklist and was on the Southern California Booksellers' Association bestseller list for two weeks in 2005. Most recently Snakeskin Shamisen, the third in the series, was released in May 2006. In April 2007 it won an Edgar Allan Poe award in the category of Best Paperback Original.

Ali Liebegott is the author of the award-winning books The Beautifully Worthless and The IHOP Papers. In 2010 she took a train trip across America interviewing female poets for a project titled, The Heart Has Many Doors; excerpts from these interviews are posted monthly on The Believer Logger.

Wendy C. Ortiz is a Los Angeles native. Her first book, Excavation: A Memoir, will be published by Future Tense Books in summer 2014. Her second book, Hollywood Notebook, is forthcoming from Writ Large Press in 2014. She currently writes the monthly column "On the Trail of Mary Jane" about medical marijuana dispensaries in Los Angeles for McSweeney's Internet Tendency. 

Jervey Tervalon is the author of All the Trouble You Need, Understand This, and the Los Angeles Times bestseller Dead Above Ground. An award-winning poet, screenwriter, and dramatist, Jervey was born in New Orleans, raised in Los Angeles, and now lives in Altadena, California, with his wife and two daughters.
 

Asian Americans for Prop 30

I went to a press conference urging Asian Americans to vote YES on Prop 30, which would stop $6 Billion in cuts to our schools this year and prevent tuition hikes.  California's wealthiest (those who make $250,000 or couples who make over $500,000 a year) will have their taxes temporarily raised for seven years. 

Civil Rights Activist and Zen Nun Angela Oh, Senator Carol Liu and me

I was there to present a world where $6 Billion cuts would affect our schools:  less English lessons, which would be deadly for Asians with a large limited English population; less history, which may mean leaving out stories of people of color in our curriculums; or less health education, which means putting our youth at risk for sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.

Assemblymembers Warren Furutani, Mike Eng, State Senators Ted Lieu and Carol Liu, Mayors Ed Lee, Jean Quan, Evan Low are among those those who favor Prop. 30.

The LA Times, Sacramento Bee, San Francisco Chronicle also favor Prop 30.

More on Prop 30 here.

Reading Joan Didion: Being Awake in the 1980's

I'd been reading lots of nonfiction, particulary about writers writing about their own lives or providing their own spin on things (pop culture, politics, etc.)  In the past six months, I've read Jeanette Winterson, David Sedaris, Augustin Burroughs, William Styron and Anne Lamotte.  It's great reading about how writers have lead their lives, leading them to the books they write today.

I'm finishing up Joan Didion's After Henry, a book of essays that was published in the early 1990's.  Most of what she writes about is Los Angeles in the 1980's.  I consider the 1980's an important time in my life.  I went through junior high, high school and college in that decade, all of that time in Los Angeles.  Our view of our city at that time is drastically different.

Joan Didion was (is) a mature, astute artist, writing about environment, politics, history.  I was, well, an adolescent growing into young adulthood--my head was in a totally different space.   Reading After Henry, gave me an alternate reality of someone else living in the same city at the same time.  It was truly illuminating, and I loved it.

What is also did was reinforce my own Voice as a writer, because I'm contributing something else.  In these pages, Joan Didion doesn't write about AIDS, that horrible disease that came to light in the 1980's that was an iconic marker in gay history.  Nor does she write about the fall of the Marcos regime, one that influenced the lives of Filipinos all over the world.  Both of these events had influenced me, shaping my world view.

I read that Toni Morrison wanted to write stories that wouldn't have been written if it weren't for her.  Me, too!  It was great reading about Joan Didion's Los Angeles.  Now, I'm going to write about my Los Angeles.  What will you write that no one else is saying?

Meeting Jeanette

I met Jeannette Winterson, a true icon of mine. She came to Skylight and I had the honor of introducing her at her very first reading in Los Angeles. I read her novel The Passion some years ago, and it stuck with me. It wasn't until later that I discovered that she was a lesbian or that her work had been snubbed by some of the literati in her country (She's never won a major prize in her country). She has no problem attacking a literary male hero like Henry Miller. She called out the sexism in Mr. Miller's life, like using his girlfriends to prostitute themselves so he can sustain his life as a writer.

There were two things that she said that really meant something to me:

1. Trust the chaos. Writing can be an emotionally wrenching experience. Sometimes you just don't know which way is up in a story. That's ok.

2. This is your time. She said we can change alot about our selves. We can change where we live, what we look like (including our gender), but there is one thing we can't change: the time we were born. This is the hand we were dealt. We can not change the time we're living in.

This resonated with me, because I do think I was born in a rich, textured time (1968) and currently live in interesting (not necessarily the best) times. My time on earth is what I get to leave behind for others to read.

I'd been writing about the 1980's alot...great! It reinforced that I'm writing about what I need to be writing about.

Meeting and Becoming "Meathead"

(The Mayor's Prop 8 press conference)

I'd been reflecting a lot recently. In February, I honored 10 years that I've been a published author. Of course, I'd been creative much longer than that. I got my first acting agent at sixteen. I went to colledge to study Drama at 18. I started doing performance art/solo work in my twenties. My first novel was published when I was 34.

However, long before that, I remember feeling that there were some things that just weren't fair in the world. All of that shows up in my writing. When my family first moved to America, we lived in a ghetto in Boston. I remembered that dishevled neighborhood, and maybe feeling there was something not right about that situation.

My father was happy that we left for Los Angeles. In Boston, he said cops would come around and harrass the immigrants. This was back in the late 1960's and early 1970's. In my adulthood, I'd had the pleasure of performing near that neighborhood (which is now a trendy part of Boston). I felt nothing but safe and welcomed.

In the 1970's we moved to Los Angeles, and I remember the class divide when "Bussing" came into the fray. Kids from economically depressed neighborhoods (like mine) were bussed to wealthier nieghborhoods (like Bel-Air). I think the goal was to improve race relations and equal out educational opportunities. I'm still not sure.

(With writer Dustin Lance Black)

When I was going to drama school in the 1980's, I couldn't help but notice that my white friends were going out for real roles, roles with names and backgrounds. I was going out for roles like Drug Dealer #1 or Asian #3. I knew I was as talented as my counterparts, but the opportunities were slim. In the 1980's, I also saw how gay people were dying of AIDS and there was a good portion of society who believed that they deserved it.

Recently, I'd been thinking about my work and my life. I'm grateful for the opportunities that came my way and the opportunities that I created. If I have work or get published, I think it's with people who feel along the lines that I do.

I continue to write and I continue to be socially aware. Every once and awhile, it gets glamorous, like when I was asked to represent API Equality-LA , (I serve on the Steering Committee) at a press conference on Prop 8. It was really cool.

However, most of this creative and socially conscious life is usually pretty ordinary. I write as much as I can. I show up to help at work.

(With actor and writer Rob Reiner)

Sometimes, I like to think that I get a sign that I'm on the right path. I do think it was pretty cool meeting "meathead" at the press conference. Rob Reiner played the fiery liberal antagonist to bigot Archie Bunker in "All in the Family." At the press conference, he came off that very same way! Mr. Reiner spoke passionately for gay marriage.

I've become that fiery liberal. I'm Meathead.

Get Centric

Please come and support this reading! I'll be sharing the mic with Monica Carter, Glenn Kessler, and more. It's curated by the amaaaaazing Hank Henderson.

November 18th. Read more here.

Thank You, Mr. Duggins

James Duggins was a professor in San Francisco, and currently retired. He loves books, specifically gay and lesbians books. Each year an award is given in his name at the Saints and Sinners Conference in New Orleans. It honors "mid-career" authors. This year, I won. I share it with lesbian writer Lee Lynch.

I am honored and humbled. I really am. More here.